Ode To Death
by Gilboobs
Summary: A strange story with the main plot revolving around Obama dying and gay coitus, but with several other side-stories. America is certainly the main character, but Holland, Poland, Lithuania, Belgium, Hungary, Russia, Finland, Canada, Italy, and Romano will be mentioned A LOT. Warnings: Strangeness; OOCness; Rape; "Coitus"; and Weird Stuff. ON HIATUS
1. Chapter 1

**Author Commentary: **Some fan-service for a friend of mine. There will be four more parts to this, which makes five parts total. Please enjoy!

**Warnings: **Strangeness;OOCness; Rape; "Sex"; Cannibalism (last two chapters); and Weird Shit

**Disclaimer: **I. OWN. THIS. STORY. AND. NOTHING. ELSE.

Barack Obama was giving an international address about important shit. "My fellow human beings and Frussians悠 mean 'fucking Russians'悠 have, uh, some shit to tell you."

"ARE YOU GAY?" A reporter screamed.

"No." Obama paused before continuing, "I am a super-mega faggot."

There were gasps fro mteh crowd. Suddenly, a shit-covered dagger flew through a window and pierced Obama's skull.

"Oh shit!" Saul Kokaineshitstein, aka _whateverthefuckhislastnameis_ and double aka _Adam Lambert's ugly-ass Finnish boyfriend, _yelled. "My fuck buddy is dead!"

Adam, who was also at the address with Sauli, put his hand on his hip. "What?"

Sauli's body tensed. "N-n-nothing."

"FUCK YOU!" Adam pulled an UZI from his pocket and blasted Sauli in the face... with bullets made from Clay Aiken's sperm.

At that moment, everything went to hell.

Ten minutes after Obama died, America was informed.

"I KNOW WHO DID IT!" America roared as he slammed fists on dining room table.

Poland謡ho was having sex with Lithuania on the table America slammed his fists on預sked, "Who?"

America had crazy-wild eyes. "THE DUTCH!"

"How do you, like, know, like, that?" Poland huffed as he butt-fucked Lithuania. "Oh Gawd, I wish you were a one minute man." Poland then had an amazing orgasm.

Lithuania screamed something awful in Polish.

"You're, like, a virgin?" Poland continued to pound the shit out of Lithuania.

Lithuania nodded the best he could.

"ARE YOU FAGS EVEN LISTENING?" America hollered.

"Nope."

Hungary and Belgium both came in and started making out. Hungary then fucked Belgium with a fake penis she had bought from Obama with drugs and blow jobs.

America's jaw dropped at the sight. "Fuck national security!"

Russia, who had just killed Obama, was stalking Finland through the White House's halls.

Finland, who was heavily pregnant with Sweden's baby, stopped dead in his tracks. "My rapist senses are tingling!"

Belgium and Hungary were putting on quite the show for America.

Lithuania謡ho Poland had been fucking for five hours謡as yet to have an orgasm.

Hungary had been fucking for forty-five minutes and both of them had had three orgasms.

America, annoyed by Lithuania and Poland, whispered, "Penis" into Lithuania's ear.

Lithuania released a tidal wave of semen, which blew Poland into a wall and glued him there.

"LIKE, SCREW YOU GUYS!" Poland screamed.

America laughed. "It's no longer 'super glue', my friends." America paused for dramatic effect. "It's 'super semen'."

Hungary threw her high-heeled shoe at America's head. "GET A JOB!"

America could not resist giving a smart-ass remark, "According to Occupy Wall Street, you can't do that now-a-days."

Tony came into the room and impregnated America with America (incest?).

Lithuania started singing:

_It's raining men,_

_ Hallelujah,_

_ It's raining men_

_ Amen!_

America's pregnancy was over in ten minutes. The blond nation's chest exploded and a blond, cute, half-alien baby appeared. America's chest was fixed by Tony.

Poland asked, "So, like, reader bitch, what do you, like, think of the, like, exploding chest?"

Finland was being raped by. Sweden came across this and raped Russia in the mouth.

"Wh't n'w, b'tch?" Sweden mumbled, slamming his boot on Russia's head, plowing the large nation's face into the ground.

"U-uh, Sweden..." Finland sounded very nervous.

Sweden turned around to see Finland sitting a puddle of slightly bloody water. "Oh sh't..."

Hungary and Belgium were eating each other's shit. Vietnam came n and joined the party. America was jacking off.

"Why don't I, like, ever have any fun?" Poland謡ho was still glued to the wall耀creamed to the world.

America's baby, who he had named Shay ShaQuiQui McLovin' Jones Sexy Smooth Vagina Kyle Malek's Titties and Shay had the appearance of a four year old by now, started raping America. Shay ShaQuiQui McLovin' Jones Sexy Smooth Vagina Kyle Malek's Titties was shitting in America's mouth.

Hungary was performing oral sex on Belgium. Belgium's vagina was warm and smooth and NOT HAIRY LIKE SYRIA'S.

"You are so soft," Hungary huffed.

Hungary the Dumb Assed jammed her finger up Belgium's va-who-ha. Belgium kicked Hungary in the mouth and Hungary was knocked out.

Holland came out of nowhere and started raping Belgium.

Lithuania and Poland started having sex... again.

America cranked up 'Scream For My Ice Cream' by Blood On The Dance Floor.

_Scream for my ice cream_

_ Tell me all your dirty dreams_

_ Scream for my ice cream_

_ Well, show me all your fantasies_

_ Scream for my ice cream_

_ Tell me all your dirty dreams_

_ Scream for my ice cream_

_ Well, show me all your fantasies_

_ Let's get this party started!_

_ Drink 'til we get retarded_

_ She licked me like an ice cream_

_ She's melting..._

Hungary, who loved that song, woke up and fucked Vietnam's va-who-ha with the fake pink penis from earlier. Vietnam suddenly had a seizure and died.

"I never liked Vietnam." Hungary sighed. "How about you, reader?"

America noticed Holland... after fifteen minutes. The blond his alien child off him and jumped up. "YOU INCESTUOUS BASTARD!"

Holland flicked his hips once more time. His penis really liked that.

Finland was freaking out, but not openly. Sweden had went from seemingly straight to homosexual, then he went from homosexual to gay, after that he became a faggot, then he ended up a fag, then a super fag, and finally, a super-mega fag.

"Su-san!" Finland yelled. "Calm down! You're freaking the hell out and you need to stop!"

Hearing that, Sweden felt gayer than ever.

Syria came into the room and started stripping off her hijab and long dress-type thing. She ended up nude, obviously. She had nice titties.

Hungary started doing the oral on Syria.

Hungary stopped. "Doing this to you is like kissing your brother, Turkey... I mean, kissing a hairy man... a hairy man like Turkey."

Syria, who was very offended,beat the shit out of Hungary... literally. Syria hit Hungary so hard that Hungary shit everywhere.

America chased Holland out of the dining room and though the halls. The two nations were both naked. America caught up to Holland fucked him in the ass, ear, mouth, and nose (err... _tried _to fuck him in the nose.)

Holland was screaming and crying the entire time.

Out of no where, Adolf Hitler's One Testicle (AhsOT) and Heinrich Himmler's Twat (HHsT) came into the room. AhsOT wielding a gun. HhsT had a cannon ball in its "hole".

America crushed AhsOT under his epic foot of democracy, Christianity, and homophobia. America then pulled the cannon ball out of HHsT and raped HhsT.

Sauli Kokaineshitstein's penis flew into the hall. America picked it up and snapped it in half. "Anyone else want a penis of me?"

Finland was still trying to force what felt like a watermelon out of a non-watermelon sized hole.

When Finland finally popped the little fucker out, both parents were over-joyed.

Sweden, while holding the little boy, noticed that the baby looked _a lot _like Denmark. Sweden gave Finland the Dirtiest Look of Dirty Looks in the History of Mankind.

Finland laughed nervously and rubbed the back of his neck. "I have some explaining to do..."

Holland wound up pregnant. Since America had been in contact with an alien, Holland's pregnancy was over in ten minutes. The pregnant nation's chest exploded and a little boy with black hair and glowing red eyes was born. America sowed Holland's chest back together.

The little boy seemed to grown from a newborn to a seventeen year old in two minutes.

"I AM SATAN!" The boy yelled.

America and Holland both replied with one word, "Fuck."


	2. Chapter 2

**Author Commentary: **More weirdness.

**Warnings: **Strangeness;OOCness; Rape; "Sex"; Cannibalism (last two chapters); and Weird Shit

**Disclaimer: **I. OWN. THIS. STORY. AND. NOTHING. ELSE.

"Fuck."

Satan started shooting fire from his ass. Holland and America barely got out of the way from the ass-flames. The ass-flames burned the new portrait of George W. Bush.

"And I am not sad," America commented. "Reader, are you sad? Because if you are, there is most likely kokaine and alcohol involved."

Poland, who had been freed from Lithuania's super sperm, and Lithuania started having sex for the twenty billionth time that day.

Lithuania screamed the whole damn time. Poland _loved_ every second of it.

Syria and Bangladesh started having sex. Syria tried to go oral on Bangladesh, but both of them were clueless Muslim girls who did not know what they were doing Syria bit Bangladesh.

Bangladesh managed to kick Syria in the ribs. Bangladesh then got dressed and left.

Syria screamed, "I CAN'T LIVE LIKE THIS!" And jumped from the window, completely naked.

Lithuania screamed as he had another orgasm.

Sweden was still giving Finland a look that could kill.

"Can I explain?" Finland asked.

Sweden nodded.

Finland gulped down his fear. "Well... I was drunk and high and Denmark and I had sex."

A little voice piped up, "Fuck you."

Canada was holding both Italy brothers hostage in the White House's basement. Canada had some big-ass gun with him.

"Please!" Romano screamed. "Don't be killin' the virgin!

Italy gave Romano a strange look. "Vee... you're a virgin?"

Romano nodded quickly, tears flowing down his face. "Si, si."

Canada grinned evilly. "I can fix that." Canada then stripped Romano and raped his ass.

"Stop, you waffle bastard!" Romano sobbed.

Canada did as told. "Fine." The nation paused before continuing, "But you and your brother are gonna have to do it."

Both Italy brothers gave each other horrified looks. "Oh shit..."

Russia was running through the halls, trying to find America.

He found America and Holland beating the shit out of Satan預nd each other謡ith crappy Ja Rule Cds. But not the CDs that featured Jennifer Lopez or Ashanti. Because they are both hot.

Satan was screaming, "Ah! My one weakness!" Satan shrunk to a black mist-thing and flew into Holland's mouth.

Out of nowhere, Shay ShaQuiQui McLovin' Jones Sexy Smooth Vagina Kyle Malek's Titties jumped on America. He then ejaculated in America's mouth. America began choking Shay ShaQuiQui McLovin' Jones Sexy Smooth Vagina Kyle Malek's Titties.

Holland screamed for America. America turned his head, still choking Shay ShaQuiQui McLovin' Jones Sexy Smooth Vagina Kyle Malek's Titties. America noticed that Holland looked about nine months pregnant.

America squeezed his hands tighter around Shay ShaQuiQui McLovin' Jones Sexy Smooth Vagina Kyle Malek's Titties's neck, just until the kid blacked out. America then sighed. "Oh shit..."

"E'erbody!" Russia slurred. "Look over here!"

America turned his head and gasped at what he saw. "That is a big penis!"

Lithuania and Poland were still having sex.

Belgium was in the corner moaning because of Hungary.

Poland and Lithuania both passed out from exhaustion.

Hungary yelled, "I found the pink penis!"

Sweden realized the voice that said, "fuck you" was the baby's voice.

The baby rolled out of Sweden's arms and grew into what appeared to be a seventeen year old in ten seconds.

The kid's eyes were glowing red. "I am CaCa PooPoo PeePee Shire!"

Finland and Sweden began to laugh loudly. That name just cracked their shit up.

Italy and Romano were having sex. Italy was topping, since he had experience. Romano was crying. Canada was smiling while watching.

Prussia, Germany, Austria, Bavaria, and Switzerland staggered into the basement.

"Can I tell you all something?" Prussia laughed.

Germany giggled as if he was a Catholic school girl. "Sure."

"That wasn't ecstasy." Prussia smiled. "Those were roofies."

Austria and Bavaria started randomly having sex. Bavaria was bottoming. Switzerland was masturbating to them.

Prussia and Germany looked at each other and shrugged. "Screw it." And the brothers started having sex, Prussia on bottom duty.

Shay ShaQuiQui McLovin' Jones Sexy Smooth Vagina Kyle Malek's Titties started stabbing Russia's eyes out with thumb tacks. Shay ShaQuiQui McLovin' Jones Sexy Smooth Vagina Kyle Malek's Titties then stuck a tack in Russia's piss-hole and raped Russia violently.

America sighed. " Shay ShaQuiQui McLovin' Jones Sexy Smooth Vagina Kyle Malek's Titties must be the youngest sex offender in America history." America looked at the roof. "Reader, what do you think?"

CaCa PooPoo PeePee Shire felt bad. "I CAN'T LIVE LIKE THIS!" CaCa PooPoo PeePee Shire leapt out the window and landed on Syria, who was dead. CaCa PooPoo PeePee Shire survived.

Finland pounced on Sweden and held the much larger man down by his wrists. "Who's the wife now, bitch?"

Sweden went super-mega gay.

Austria, Bavaria, Germany, Prussia, and Switzerland had all passed out because of the roofies and sex. Canada had fallen asleep in a chair.

By this time, Italy and Romano had been having sex for three hours and fifty-six minutes non-stop. Canada said that they had to go exactly four hours.

"Stupido fratello," Romano huffed. "We might be able to leave."

"Vee.. but Mister Canada said..."

Romano elbowed his brother. "I don't care what Mister Canada said! Let's go!"

The two stopped fucking and began tip toeing from the room.

"YOU BITCHES!" Canada screamed as he jumped from his chair.

The Italy brothers stopped dead in their naked, sexy tracks.

"Shit," Romano grumbled. "So close."

Holland was talking to America, while America was being mouth-raped by Shay ShaQuiQui McLovin' Jones Sexy Smooth Vagina Kyle Malek's Titties. Suddenly, there was a "splash" on the ground.

"Oh my God!" Holland screamed. "My water broke!"

"And that means..." America's voice was drown out by Shay ShaQuiQui McLovin' Jones Sexy Smooth Vagina Kyle Malek's Titties's penis.

Holland was ready to explode. "THAT MEANS SATAN IS FUCKING COMING!"

Spain and France were smoking crack on the White House lawn. Turkey, Spain, and Japan were having a threesome right in front of them.

"That," France giggled. "Is a lot of come."

Spain nodded. "Si, si."

France gave Spain the "sexy eyes" that just screamed "get your Spanish ass over here and fuck me". Spain gladly did as the eyes told him.

"Spain," France began calmly. "That's a tree. I'm over here."

Spain looked at Carlos (that's what France named his dick.) "Carlos" was all torn up from the tree bark. Spain screamed, "AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH! FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK MY !"


End file.
